I am a Coward

Recently I was sitting at a computer with a friend watching a soccer video, and Pele impressed my friend to the point that he felt the needed to use the saviors name in vain. Now as soon as my friend said this I had the instant urge to rebuke this act, but I didn’t. I don’t know why but I didn’t. I just sat there and kept watching. I knew what to say and to keep him accountable but I didn’t. This was an act of cowardice that I cannot forgive myself for. What is worse is that I had just been discussing theology with another friend and teacher. This teacher was still in the room and since he was busy made a comment that I grasped but my friend did not. I am ashamed for not saying something myself and just hoping it would go unnoticed. Even if no one had noticed God would have. This lack of action has given me shame towards myself and makes me feel shameful at seeing this teacher knowing that he probably thinks less of me now due to my weakness. This may be God’s way of showing me minor consequences for my actions but they do not feel minor. Besides failing as a friend and a servant of the Lord I have lost much respect I am sure in the eyes of this teacher. If this teacher is reading this entry I extend my deepest apologies for failing so miserably, and at a time when the Lord was fresh on my mind, this will not happen again. I will no longer allow such incidences to occur without rebuking the one that is at fault. A newer stronger Hayden has just been made for the service of the Lord.